Dream with me for a minute. Let yourself get lost in a moment of wonder and contemplation.
Imagine you’re floating in space. Perhaps imagine you were invited to join the Guardians of the Galaxy for a quick trip through the solar system - and you got to float outside the ship for a minute.
How do you feel as you visualize floating in outer space?
Peaceful? Exhilarated? Terrified? Insecure or unstable?
One of a person’s greatest quests is the search for identity. Who am I? Where do I belong? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
Everyone asks these questions. Today, though, a generation is coming of age in a cultural moment that can make them feel like they are floating in space.
There are few anchors. Dangerous debris flies at them without warning. Trying to gain motion and momentum toward meaning can feel like floating in space.
Add to this challenge the constant, chaotic noise of social media, a rapidly evolving internet, and the proliferation of misinformation – it’s no wonder that there is an unprecedented mental health crisis among today’s youth.
With so many distractions and competing priorities, exploring self-awareness in mental health can feel like a fight. But this is the key to embracing your truest identity.
Chaos and Confusion Cloud Mental Health
Not long ago nor far away, color TVs were considered a luxury. Cordless phones were “next-gen.” Y2K had yet to threaten to change the world.
No one told Y2K that 2007 would change the world. iPhones. Netflix. The slow evaporation of Myspace.
Social Media and Cell Phones Changed the World – Our Mental Health
Those born after 2007 do not know a world without social media or cell phones. While social media is not inherently good or evil, the research on its potential for harm is overwhelming.
The U.S. Surgeon General reports that:
"Up to 95% of young people aged 13-17 report using a social media platform. Nearly two-thirds of teenagers report using social media daily, and one-third report using social media ‘almost constantly."
Let's take a moment to think about what teenagers and pre-teens are exposed to in the digital world.
Opinions masquerading as facts
Fickle affirmation through “likes,” “hearts,” “retweets,” and more
24-7 access to gossip
Cyberbullying
Fake News
Hate Speech
Body Shaming
Distorting Filters
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!
It’s nearly impossible for children and adolescents to know what they think or identify how they feel when constantly bombarded with content.
Many feel like they are floating in space with debris whipping by them.
Cultural Incongruity Disrupts Self-Awareness
There may be no higher value in our culture than “being true to yourself.” But how can you be true to yourself when you’re unaware of who you are?
This may explain why so many “identity quizzes” float around online. Which Guardian of the Galaxy do you think you are? What Enneagram number are you?
Apparently you can even find out which dog breed you are based on your favorite bread!
Imagine how difficult it would be to come of age in this environment. Teens and tweens are not yet who they will be. But they are aching to find out.
This is a good, healthy part of maturing into adulthood. One of the challenges for those taking these steps in the 2020s is testing the waters of identity in front of an audience.
And that audience has opinions.
Post a gram, tweet, or TikToc, and your audience will “vote” with their reactions and critique or encourage with their comments.
What does a teenager do when the values of their followers differ from that of their family? What security blanket do they have to stay grounded as they grow and evolve into who they are becoming?
Picking up Mental Health From our Parents’ Identity
Critical life-shaping choices cannot be made in isolation. A child's search for identity heavily influences their choice of sports and romance.
Or a billion other things.
Whether an adolescent can identify it or not, the priorities of their parents shape their values. Which were shaped by their parents who were influenced by their culture… and on it goes.
Do you know how your values and priorities impact the people you love?
Can you articulate how your parents’ priorities shaped your values?
Mental Health Necessitates Inner Quiet
It’s said that if you live by a train long enough, you won’t even hear it eventually.
Something like this is what children and youth experience today regarding anxiety. For many, it’s always there in the background.
It feels normal.
With the proliferation of cell phones and social media, some form of anxiety-inducing noise is always in the background, like a train that won’t stop.
Human beings were not designed to live in a constant state of anxiety and being overstimulated with all of the noise around us. We crave tranquility and inner calm.
But without the space for silence and solitude, many cannot engage their hearts introspectively.
If you don’t understand your feelings, you cannot even begin to ask why you feel that way. When you cannot identify what’s happening in your heart, you won’t feel like you have a stable identity.
You’ll feel like you’re floating in space. But there is a way back to earth. It begins with awareness.
Exploring Self-Awareness in Mental Health: 5 Techniques to Improve Your Mental Health
It’s said that if you live by a train long enough, you won’t even hear it eventually.
Something like this is what children and youth experience today regarding anxiety. For many, it’s always there in the background.
It feels normal.
With the proliferation of cell phones and social media, some form of anxiety-inducing noise is always in the background, like a train that won’t stop.
Human beings were not designed to live in a constant state of anxiety and being overstimulated with all of the noise around us. We crave tranquility and inner calm.
But without the space for silence and solitude, many cannot engage their hearts introspectively.
If you don’t understand your feelings, you cannot even begin to ask why you feel that way. When you cannot identify what’s happening in your heart, you won’t feel like you have a stable identity.
You’ll feel like you’re floating in space. But there is a way back to earth. It begins with awareness.
The first step in healing is identifying the pain point. If you bring your vehicle to the mechanic, they’ll first hook it up to the computer to pinpoint the problem.
Without awareness, people tend to panic.
This is why I focus on creating a safe and unhurried space for people in therapy. In an environment that feels safe and peaceful, people can begin to look inward and identify what they’re feeling and why.
While I primarily serve clients who are 8 – 18 years old, I have found these five grounding techniques beneficial for anyone who desires to grow in emotional wholeness:
1: Let the Emoji Wheel Help You Identify How You Feel
“How are you feeling” can be incredibly difficult for some to answer—especially those in a near-constant state of anxiety.
Seeing an emotion without judgment attached to it can aid in identifying how you feel. When it comes to emotions, if you can name it, you can tame it.
2: Take 20 Minutes for Yourself
Go outside, lie down, run your fingers through the grass, and look at the sky.
For 20 minutes.
People think I’m joking when I first assign this “homework.” But this is essential to working within how we are wired.
When emotionally heightened, your brain kicks into “flight, fight, or freeze” mode. Usually, most stimuli are processed through the decision-making centers of your brain.
But when you feel threatened, afraid, or euphoric – your brain bypasses its higher critical functions and processes information through the amygdala.
This is a good design.
If a car swerves into your lane, you need to react, not process the best options for reaction.
Once in this heightened state, it usually requires 20-60 minutes for your brain to reset and process information through the prefrontal cortex.
When you’re triggered, give it 20 minutes before making any decisions. Then process what you’re feeling and why.
Twenty minutes can buy you clarity that no amount of money ever could.
3: Blow Your Bubbles Away
Name your fears. Name your worries. Then blow them away like bubbles.
For adults, journaling can help accomplish the same thing.
The point is to not let your fear, worry, and anxiety swirl around in your soul undetected. This technique exposes them – and sends them away.
Many of our fears are an exaggeration of reality. When you put this distortion under the microscope, you can see it for what it is and no longer be controlled by it.
4: Explore Guided Imagery for Anxiety Relief
Lay down, concentrate on breathing intermittently, and focus your mind’s attention in a peaceful direction.
Your mind and body will respond with peace.
I encourage kids to build and enter their “mind castle.” Dream, imagine, and explore places that make you feel safe and at peace.
I encourage adults to draw upon memories that make them feel peaceful.
Once the noise of anxiety is cleared away, many find the clarity they need to put their finger on the source of their emotional pain.
5: Use Breath-Based Mantras During Meditation
Tie your breathing to concepts that you want to be tied to your heart. When you breathe in, repeat one part of the phrase in your mind. When you breathe out, repeat the next.
You can try Scripture, poetry, or personal affirmations.
Breathe in – I am loved.
Breathe out – change is happening.
Concentrating on breathing and positive affirmations can uproot and expel anxiety that tries to hide under the surface.
Move Forward in Self-Awareness Without Shame
No one gets through life without facing challenges. We all need support at times. Asking for help, engaging in therapy is not a sign that something is broken.
It’s a sign of exceptional health.
Too many parents feel as if they’ve failed when their kids need help. The truth is, we all need help at times. If you don’t teach your kids that they should ask for and receive help – that’s a recipe for failure.
The youth I work with are hungry for authenticity, honesty, and vulnerability. They are starving for people who can identify their feelings and be honest about them.
They long to do the same.
In our quest for identity, we innately sense that we must first be aware of ourselves to accept ourselves.
A skilled, compassionate therapist can help you discover and embrace your self-worth.
Peace is Possible for Your Mental Health
Life Transformation Counseling specializes in identity work, working with kids, adolescents, and families, trauma therapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and more.
I utilize multiple therapeutic methods, tailoring my sessions to your needs each time. While I love to serve people of all ages, my heart is drawn to helping those between the ages of eight and eighteen.
We are available to work with you in person or online. Whatever path you need to walk down to pursue health and healing, we can meet you there!
Hope is here. Healing is possible. We can help.
Are you ready to take the steps necessary to get the health you and your family deserve? Reach out today, and we can get the process started.